Friday, April 22, 2011

Thoughts on a Good Friday.

It's Good Friday and I sit here in Barnes & Noble trying to focus on the meaning of the day but finding myself distracted by life.  My calendar is full, my To Do list is long, and I constantly feel exhausted and sick. My days of living the life abundant that Jesus promised seem too far behind me to ever grasp again.  I need that freshness, that renewal that is the promise of Easter. 

My mind returns to images from The Passion of the Christ, a brutal and difficult movie to watch but one that helped me truly understand God's love for me.  His love has always been a hard thing for me to grasp.  It's hard for me to truly believe I am loved by anyone.  Childhood baggage, sure, we've all got it.  But the day I put my faith in Christ it was not because of a realization of his love for me but rather a realization of who he is and his reality in my life.  There was a definite presence of the Holy Spirit saying, "Hello, I exist and look at how I've worked in your life.  You're only here because of me.  Now what are you going to do about that?  Accept or deny?".  There was no denying for me and I found myself broken in his presence.  But not really understanding the extent of his love.

Until I sat in a movie theater and witnessed the length he went to for my redemption.  No, I don't understand the why's or the how's.  I have the same questions about why God created us in the first place if he knew we would rebel against him, about why he set up the sacrificial system and how in the world that can cleanse us.  I don't get it all. But I do know that no matter the whys and hows, he loves us.  He loves me.  And he showed it by enduring torture and derision from the very people he created.  Willingly. 

The Purpose Driven Life opens with the words "It's not about you."  It's a true statement and ultimately everything is for God's glory.  But I can't help but notice that what we celebrate on Good Friday and Easter is a lot about us.  It's about his love for us, this unexplainable, all encompassing love that I'm still only barely able to fathom.  We have just a glimpse of his love for us in that ultimate sacrifice on the cross.  And then we have the fulfillment of that love in the resurrection. 

He loves and he lives and it's because of this that we can live.  Abundant life both now and forever. 

I'm going to try to ignore all those distractions and remember this truth this weekend.  Even among the stress of house cleaning and meetings and practices and way too many people coming for Easter, I need to remember.  I need to find a hint of that abundant life in the midst of my chaos and find rest in that love.  I pray I find renewal this weekend.  If you can relate, I pray the same for you.

Have a good Friday.


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