Tuesday, April 26, 2011

C is for Coffee and That's Good Enough for Me!

C: Coffee

holding coffee Pictures, Images and Photos
Yeah, that's right. Coffee. It's my homeschool necessity and I'm not even apologizing.  Before you start getting all Jugdy Mcjudgy, follow me for just a moment and experience an ideal homeschool morning in my house...

(The air around you grows blurry and your whole world fuzzes for just a moment as you enter my mind.  Don't worry, I'll let you back out again in a minute.)

It's late morning (nothing starts early around here, not even ideal homeschool mornings) and I've just finished dressing and getting ready in the master bathroom.  I am ready to face the world.  Or at least the kids.  I stumble out into the living room and my youngest has already cleaned the living room.  He grins at me from the computer where he's well into his math lesson.  Humming under my breath, I make my way into the kitchen where my fifteen year old is just finishing the last swipe of the kitchen counter.  He grins at me as he hands me my favorite mug from the cupboard.  I turn on the Keurig, choose the extra bold K-cup, and slide my mug into place.  As it brews, I gather the kids into the living room, press play on the CD player and we begin listening to The Bible Experience.  My coffee finished, I grab my mug and curl up in my favorite chair while we listen to Samuel L. Jackson read Scripture.  By the time I'm on my second cup of coffee, the tone of the day has been set and we are well on our way to an enjoyable and profitable homeschool experience.  

(A sharp and ear piercing shriek interrupts the beautiful moment.  The scene changes.)

It's late morning and I stumble out of my room in my oh so attractive fuzzy pink bathrobe.  My red striped toe socks peek out from beneath the bright purple PJ pants. I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed and pretend I have no kids.  I stumble out into the living room and my youngest is nowhere to be found.  There are blankets on the floor, game pieces spread across the coffee table, and an empty jug of milk next to the computer.  Hollering for every child of mine to get out here RIGHT NOW, I make my way into the kitchen where it looks like an army of evil elves have thrown the party of the year.  Threatening the future activities of everyone in the house under eighteen, I collapse into my favorite chair and wait until I can at least see the Keurig again.  When the chaos has reached acceptable level, I scrub out a dirty mug and shove it under the coffee machine.  By the time I'm on my second cup of coffee, I have begun to feel slightly human and we are well on our way to some kind of homeschool experience.

(The air around you grows blurry once again and your whole world loses color and chaos as you leave the realms of my mind.  You're welcome.)

Both of these experiences have occurred in my home. I won't tell you which one occurs more often, I'm sure you can figure it out on your own.  Good day or bad, there's just something about curling my hands around a hot cup of coffee or sucking in that first slurp of iced coffee that makes me a better homeschool mom.  If drinking a glass of wine while cooking makes me feel like Julia Child, having a cup of coffee while homeschooling makes me feel like Diana Waring.

I know it's all in my head. I realize this makes me mental.  I'm okay with that. Really.

Coffee. It does a body good.


musicalmary said...

This made me laugh!!! Great post, and spot on, too. The first thing I do in the morning is brew my Cinnamon French Toast Keurig cup of coffee, then I can tackle life.

I cannot believe I blogged about curriculum instead of coffee! You win the prize today. :-)


Jessica S. @Mother of Action said...

Now THIS is the most hilarious post I have ever read. LOL!! Thank you!! Yes, I had debated on Coffee for "C" as well. HA HA HA

As you know how the saying goes, "Homeschool Mom: Just add coffee"

Yours is completely oustanding--thanks for the laugh! ;)

I am sharing.

Tezra said...

Oh my goodness, how hysterical & so true!

I didn't start drinking coffee until i started homeschooling two years ago at 32. Now I can't cope without it, LOL!

Dawn @ 5 Kids and a Dog said...

"If drinking a glass of wine while cooking makes me feel like Julia Child, having a cup of coffee while homeschooling makes me feel like Diana Waring."
OK, I have to say, this is my FAVORITE quote!! I'm tweeting this, just so ya know. LOVE IT!
My house can go from one extreme to the other too, and I can so relate to the army of evil elves in the kitchen. :) Thanks for linking up!

joelle said...

Fabulous! Can't believe I did not think of Coffee. I guess lots of us are mental . . .

Kimberly said...

I made it to:
"Samuel L. Jackson read Scripture"
and feel my brain kinda got stuck there.....

do such recordings exist??

Where can I get it?

and if "A" happens most often at your house I just might have to cry and eat chocolate....


Rebecca said...

YEAH for Coffee! Thanks for dropping by earlier....I love this post....my kids find me in the morning, sipping my cup....relishing in it...and late afternoon.....it just makes the day a little bit better doesn' it!?

Susan said...

Giggle. I want a Keurig. Seriously. And I love your realness. It makes me feel better about the pile of dirty dishes in my sink. And the baby stripping and peeing on the sofa instead of in her little potty while I'm "teaching".

Lori said...

@Everybody Thanks for all the comment love, it's making my day! (Today was somewhere in between choice A and B) And I LOVE being shared on Twitter. Yeah, I'm shallow. ;-)

@Kimberly Yes, Samuel L. Jackson reading Scripture does exist! It's called The Bible Experience and it's all African American actors dramatizing the Bible. It's actually pretty awesome. You should check it out. :-)

And no worries, Choice A is a rare good day. You can still eat chocolate if you like though, any excuse is good with me!

@Susan That is hilarious. And I've been there, done that, burnt the t-shirt. Someday I really need to write down all the crazy stories from when my kids were younger. We have some doozies!

Amie said...

Well said! I love my coffee too and will never appologize for it either. When I saw the title, "C is for Coffee," I thought you were going to post the music to "C is for Cookie" and sub in coffee!

Debra said...

Lori, I love you. That's all. :)

(oh, and beeyouteeful new blog design too...)

Shasta said...

Loved this post! You're a great writer! Thanks for letting me out of your head!

Lori said...

My mind is a scary place to be...


Diana Waring said...

So, being the highly competent Social Media person that I am (NOT), I JUST found your blog on coffee & me.

I burst out laughing, as my hot cup of coffee with its appetizing aroma sits right next to me!! :)

Thanks for including me in the same line as Julia Child!!!


zerokoolneo said...

hee hee hee, I want to be in your mind again and know how you "do it all" You amaze me!


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