Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Homeschool- A Safe Place

I attended eight public schools and one private. I've been one of the popular crowd, one of the bullied, one of the druggie group, one of the invisible. My friends have come and gone.  I remember being ditched and left just because that group of friends found it funny that day.  Another day I walked into school to find my group of fellow misfit friends had suddenly decided to no longer speak to me.  It was a social experiment they came up with, again, for fun.  I was disliked in one school simply because I had moved there from California and they found my white jacket pretentious. The popular crowd was no better.  I only missed the hazing because I was dating a football player by the time school began.  This same football player cheated on me with my closest friend, who also happened to be his best friend's girlfriend.


I was well into adulthood before I had a best friend.  The circle of friends I have now are closer than any that have come before.  It only took me forty years to get here.  And yet, when I found myself alone for a short time at a conference this weekend, I was suddenly transported back to high school and filled with insecurities.  Paralyzed, I sat on a bench and sought refuge in Facebook until a friend showed up. 

This is one of the many reasons I homeschool.  It's not all about academics for me, it's about life as a whole.  Part of that is providing a safe place, a haven where my kids can face these kinds of difficulties and heartache without it being the sum total of their life.  They are not sheltered and they have more friends than I ever did at their ages.  They have had their hearts broken.  They have experienced cruelty and have had to learn how to deal with people.  Friends have turned from them with no explanation. But because they have dealt with this from the relative safety of a home base, they have a self confidence and security in who they are that I still do not have. 

How many of us still deal with scars from our school years, decades later?  Too many.  If I can provide a foundation of love and acceptance for who my children are, if they can enter the world confident in themselves and their identity, I will consider their schooling a success.  I want them to have the skills to learn whatever they desire.  And I want them to have the confidence and independence they need in life.  This is more important to me than grades and curriculum.  This is the stuff of life.

8 comments:

Crystal said...

((((hugs))) You are amazing. :)

Heather @ Marine Corps Nomads said...

(((hugs))) I still struggle at times to go to places by myself for some of those same reasons.

Great post.

Mrs. White said...

This is beautifully said and excellent!!

You are an inspiration to homeschooling mothers!

Blessings
Mrs. White

Susan said...

Thank you for this post. And yeah the anti-socialization of ps is definitely part of the reason I homeschool my kids.

Those scars are deep.

The Faithful Homeschool said...

My oldest daughter was public schooled until halfway through 4th grade. She was diagnosed as severely ADHD (no surprise) and could not adjust to the social set because of her inability to 'act' like everyone else. I began to worry she suffered from severe depression and her self confidence was non-existent.

Within a year of homeschooling, her self confidence began to build. Her ADHD symptoms had settled to a lull and her coping ability had increased drastically. Now, 3 years later, she tells other homeschool kids horror stories about public school and walks into a room without fear. She is able to control her own behavior better and take pride in her abilities.

Three cheers for homeschooling... and such a great article! Thanks for sharing Lori!

Nancy said...

Thank you for sharing your heart with us! It sounds like you are doing a lovely work with your children - providing the protection and guidance they need to navigate the real world.

Ring true,
Nancy

Writer said...

Thank you for telling us your experiences. Mine were very similar to that. I am very glad that I homeschool my kids and I know they will be getting a better education than our local school give us.
I am from the TOS Crew and am now following you. I'm looking forward to reading more posts. Thank you!
www.indoorgardenmusings.blogspot.com

Zelda said...

popped over from HHM - so good to know others HS for the same reasons - been there - done that and want life to be better for them :)

Zelda
Homeschool Escapade

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