Not Me Monday: The One That Ends With A Stationary Zombie.

And it's time for another "Not Me" Monday!  

On Wednesday, while chatting and writing with my friendly neighborhood writer's group at Borders, we surely did NOT send one of us out to buy Starbucks lattes (and salted caramel hot chocolate. Yum!) from the Barnes & Noble Cafe because the Borders cafe was only serving hot coffee.  And then we really did NOT sit in a large group with our venti sized lattes advertising the competitor in our favorite local hang out.  Nope.  Ignore that photo to the left.  
 
On Thursday, when my fellow TOS Crew member and friend inquired about the review due Friday, I did NOT respond with, "What review?".  If I had, she may have said, "The one you're in charge of." But I would NOT have responded with, "Oh, yeah. Thaaaaat review."

On Friday, I most certainly did NOT introduce myself at the Women's Bible Study I co-lead with, "My name is Lori and I'm an alcoholic.  Er...wait...".  When it ended, I did NOT search frantically for my missing keys, only to find them in the church's bathroom closet were I had dropped them while putting a new bag in the trash and I did NOT pick up yet another Barnes & Noble Cafe latte on the way to spend a couple of hours working in Borders. That night, I did NOT attend a wedding rehearsal dinner in jeans because we'd been told casual, only to discover everyone else in fancy dress.

On Saturday, I did NOT wait until the last minute to dress for the wedding because the day was packed, only to discover the infrequently worn dress was too small.  I did NOT pull out my other infrequently worn dress to find it too small as well, but better and my only option.  Not having shoes to match, I certainly did NOT borrow my daughters 5 inch heels and thereby put to death any notion of dancing at the reception.

On Sunday, while co-leading the Senior High Sunday School class, I did NOT interrupt my co-teacher to ask him to move out of the path to the bathroom before I wet my pants.  'Cause, you know, that'd just be embarrassing.  If I had, he may have responded with, "Curse your tiny bladder." and I may have agreed.  When heading to Boston for a Bridal Expo with my daughter, her fiancee, and our friend, I did NOT completely regret the 5 inch heels of the previous night as I did NOT limp my way across Boston.  It did NOT take us 4 hours to make an hour and a half trip due to traffic and limpy me and we did NOT arrive twenty minutes before the lame thing ended.  Or was I the lame thing?  Nope, I did NOT then text my husband to let him know I was going to spring for a $25 taxi back to our car because my feet would no longer work.  I did NOT end up spending $40 to attend a Bridal Expo we had free tickets to and only attended for 20 minutes.

On Sunday evening, I did NOT arrive home around 7:30 only to head over to visit friends at 8pm.  I did NOT stay up until 2AM gaming with friends from out of town because that was the only time we could see them before they left.  On the way home, I did NOT pull over in response to an SUV honking and following us into the parking lot (Or rather, my husband did NOT) and did NOT wonder if they were psychos intent on discovering their next victim.  I did NOT sit with my cell phone in hand, ready to dial 911 at a moments notice, as my husband helped them find gas for their vehicle so they could get to the airport.

Monday morning, I did NOT agree to my childrens requests to work on independent subjects because they perceived their mom to be akin to a walking zombie.  Er...a stationary zombie.  My feet are certainly NOT still painful and I am NOT hoping for a calmer week!